Our Story Continues. (See Nancy's Part 1 and Part 2)So, Chris already finished writing his version of this week's installment and I took a little peek at it. Wow, I'm surprised at his memory, or lack therof. I sorta figured that since we have told this story so many times that our versions would be virtually identical--not so. It will be obvious by the sheer volume of minuscule details I am including here that mine is the correct version. (You may want to get comfortable...)
So, there I was in New Jersey visiting Chris the day after he got back from his mission. I got to attend his homecoming party and see him report on his mission at church. We spent time around his family and friends, and time on our own--talking, going on walks, talking, going out to eat, talking, talking and more talking. It was such an experience to very suddenly be in a relationship with each other. I remember one specific conversation when I was trying to explain to him how I felt about the way we fit together. I could only put it into words one way; it sounded corny, but all I could say was that it really seemed like we were made for each other.
I had arrived in NJ on a Friday, and was scheduled to leave Monday morning. About 20 minutes before we were going to leave for the airport it started to rain. A lot. Next thing I knew my flight was canceled and I was staying another day. This was perfect. That day was important. Up until then we had been having a great time, but I really didn't know what I thought about our future, where things were going, etc. On that bonus day I had a few experiences where I was watching Chris interact with his younger siblings, and I was just struck at what a great father he would be. We took a walk that day and really started talking about what we wanted to do, how our relationship could work, etc. We were so happy for that extra time we had. I had such a hard time saying goodbye, and the plane ride back to Utah was miserable.
So, back in Utah, we were now in a long-distance relationship. We had no specific plans for our future, except the idea that it would be fun if Chris could come out to Utah for a Worth Family Reunion in August (the current month was May). In the meantime, we would just call each other a lot. This was before cell phones were the standard, so we were spending a fortune on long distance cards. Within his first week of being home Chris was working 2 jobs and going to school. The only time we could find to talk on the phone was late at night: 10 pm my time, midnight for him. This sounds late enough, but Chris is not a night person, so it was especially hard. There were plenty of times when he would be mumbling incoherently on the phone, or just falling asleep. I didn't even mind; it was better than having to say goodbye at night.
It wasn't long (a few days) before I realized that this wasn't going to work. I simply did not want to spend all the money on phone bills and plane tickets to continue a long-distance relationship without knowing if it was going to go anywhere. Couldn't we just find out now if this was going anywhere, if it was worth all the effort? So, we decided to decide. We each fasted, prayed, and attended the temple. We talked every day about our future and what we thought was right. Within a week or so, we decided that we wanted to be married; it was only a question of when. Should one of us move? Should we date for a while? Chris wasn't ready to leave New Jersey, so we decided to end up there, but still weren't sure about how it would all work. We talked about a December wedding. That seemed like a long time to wait, so we thought about the end of the summer, but that seemed too quick; maybe sometime around October or November...
In the meantime, my parents were still in Brazil. Remember, they had witnessed my lovesick days of writing to Chris, so they were dying to hear about how my initial visit to New Jersey went. They called about a week after I had gotten back from NJ to get the details. I told them that things were going well, and that we were pretty certain we would be getting married--probably sometime in the fall. My Dad's response: "We've been thinking about it Nancy; we think you two should get married at the end of July, a few weeks after we get back from our mission. The timing will be perfect. We'll be staying with Steve and Stephanie in Virginia, you could get married in the DC temple, we'll all be traveling out to Oregon to report on our missions, we could throw in a wedding reception while we're there. Then, we'll head down to Utah for our family reunion. It will be so much more convenient if you guys are already married." Whoa. Was I hearing this right? Was he really suggesting that we set a date that was just two months away? I talked to Chris, and we laughed about it. No way it work: too crazy, too soon, no money, etc. etc. But the next thing we knew we were making it work. I would move to Virginia and live with Steve and Stephanie, we would visit a few times, we could be there when my parents got home, DC was a perfect location for both families, the receptions would work out perfectly. Logistically, it just made sense. The only problem was where we would live after we got married. We were both broke. And you couldn't rent even a junky apartment in New Jersey for less than $1000 a month. The only solution would be to live at Chris's house. No way, we thought. We had enough common sense to know that living with family wasn't the best way to start a marriage. The fact was, though, even if we waited 6 months to a year, we still wouldn't be able to afford to live there. And Chris wasn't ready to move away from his family. Very suddenly though, it all became clear: we felt like we should get married in July and live at his house. In spite of our concerns--and the concerns of friends and family--it all felt right; we knew it was the right thing to do.
And that's what we did. I finished up the Spring term at BYU, packed up and moved to Virginia. I took a train up to NJ to visit Chris. This was our first visit since his homecoming. By this time we had already set our wedding date, but we weren't officially engaged. I knew that Chris had purchased a ring (he didn't realize he should keep it a secret). My first day there, he got my Dad's phone number from me (again, not very sly), went in the other room to make "the call," then came back and said, "well, I guess we should probably go out somewhere right?" I asked if I should dress up; he asked, "what for?" We drove two blocks away to an old run-down drive-in restaurant where they serve you at your car, on a tray that balances on the car window. We had chili dogs or chili burgers. Then we drove to the shore. We got out of the car, Chris closed his door, then froze. He realized he had left his keys inside. He had a little change in his pocket, so we could at least feed the meter. "Wait," I said, "what about the, uh, the... you know..." He assured me that it was in his pocket. We found a pay phone to call someone about a spare key to the car. Chris's dad said he would meet us in about 30 minutes. We were now on the clock. Chris's wallet was in the car, so we couldn't get food or play any carnival games on the boardwalk. We went down to the beach itself. If I remember correctly, it went something like this: "Well, I have the ring here, so I guess I'm supposed to ask you now. Will you marry me?" Think what you will about his composition and delivery; I thought it was wonderful. The ring was perfect. It was closer to what I wanted than I had ever been able to describe. It was small, but that's what I wanted. We were in love, and we were engaged.
And we were still on the clock. We had a quick kiss and made our way back to the place his Dad would be meeting us with the car key. After a few minutes we realized that our meter would be running down by now. The car was a few blocks away, so Chris went to stand by it (there were tons of cops out patrolling, so there was a good chance of a ticket). Remember, this was before cell phones, so I had no choice but to stay at the meeting spot. There I stood. Alone. Admiring the ring on my hand, and feeling crushed that I was spending this moment by myself. If only we had a few quarters; we could feed the meter, and Chris could come back and wait with me. Maybe I should just beg a quarter off someone. I did it. I explained my dilemma, I showed off my ring, and I scored 25 cents. I ran to the car, dropped the quarter in, and Chris came back to wait with me. But time passed quickly, and his Dad still hadn't arrived, so Chris had to go back to the car. Alone again. Why hadn't I asked that nice couple for 2 quarters?! Oh well, I thought. His dad will come soon, we'll open the car, get his wallet, and go have a fun time playing games on the boardwalk. Maybe he'll even win me a stuffed animal. His dad came driving up in an old rickety car. He had the key. He drove me over to the car where Chris was waiting. Then he told us that we needed to follow him home since he was pretty sure his car wouldn't make it. We got in the car and drove home. No stuffed animals for me that night. I didn't mind though; I was pretty happy with my prize. By the time we finished following his Dad home, Chris had to call it a night (remember--he's not a night person). It was an abrupt ending to our funny evening, but I could not have felt happier.
I lived in Virginia for the next couple months. Chris came down to visit when my parents came home, and I went up to visit one other time. Then I went back to Virginia and didn't see him again until our wedding day (2-3 weeks after my final visit). We calculated that we saw each other for a total of 15 days between the day he came home and the day we got married.
The wedding day is a story of its own. We weren't having a reception that night, so we had time to do a session in the temple before our wedding ceremony. Everything went smoothly, except for the fact that we got misdirected before the ceremony and ended up in the waiting room with all of our guests! It was a beautiful day, but very hot. Taking pictures was unbearable, so we kept it brief. The only thing that mattered to me that day was that we were married for time and all eternity!
Because we had a lot of travelling to do for receptions, we didn't go on an extravagant honeymoon. My only request was that we stay somewhere outside of Chris's hometown, where we could go to the movies, take a trip into New York, etc. The day after our wedding, right before we got to East Brunswick for our reception, Chris said something to the effect of: "ok, this part of the highway is technically Edison, not East Brunswick, so we can stay here, right? Start looking for something.... ok, that one looks cheap, let's stay there." It was cheap and a bit run-down, and hot. I was happy to stay there though, still living in post-wedding bliss. Chris's recollection of my being
livid probably has to do with the fact that I rarely let an opportunity pass when I can use his
meticulous, thoughtful honeymoon planning as evidence in whatever current argument we are having.
The rest of the honeymoon consisted of reporting my mission in Corvallis, a reception there, an open-house in Utah, and a Worth Family Reunion at Aspen Grove. (Remember the event that was going to be the first time Chris came out to visit me during our long-distance relationship?).
I never thought I would find someone to marry on my mission. I never thought I would have a quick engagement. I never thought I would live with family when I first got married. I also had no idea that I could find such a perfect partner; but I did.
Ok, so apparently we should have split this story up into a few additional posts. Thanks for sticking with us. Our next installments will be much more bearable (and proofread, and edited...), we promise!
So far we have written about how we met and got married. It was good to record this, but there are some inaccuracies (on Nancy's part of course).
We had Brittany, Ryan, Katie, Daniel, and Quin over for the party. I think we just recycled one of Michael's toys for David's present. We didn't think Michael would notice, but it didn't go over too well. David loved the cake and ice cream. It took Michael a few days, but he has come to terms with the fact that David is now one and not zero.
(click to enlarge)
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